I’ve done extensive research and analysis, and I feel comfortable is proclaiming that the least-used phrase in the language is….wait for it (no, that’s not it; that’s one of the most overused)…I can’t believe it’s already Tuesday.

That’s right, ladies and gentlemen, I can’t believe it’s already Tuesday is officially the least-used phrase in the English language–although it’s not going to stay that way if I keep saying it. Since we seem to gauge our feelings about days based on whether we have to work, Tuesday is the least considered day of the week.

You often hear people say I can’t believe it’s already Friday, either with joy because the beloved weekend has approached more quickly than expected or in a sarcastic way because the week dragged. I can’t believe it’s already Thursday is often said in anticipation of the upcoming weekend, and Wednesday, being the middle of the week, is also often met with an I can’t believe it’s already Wednesday line. After lunch, it’s all downhill toward the next magical weekend. Life is good suddenly.

Sunday is a big day to say I can’t believe it’s already Sunday (especially its sister phrase, I can’t believe it’s already Sunday night) because the only days worth living for, the weekend, are winding down. It seems as if everyone says I can’t believe it’s already Monday every week, and it’s said with that resolute sadness that makes me wonder if we shouldn’t all abandon organized society for a non-stop party weekend since our role in society is clearly such a burden.

Tuesday, though, is the sad, forgotten day of the week. It’s not Monday, which is good, but it’s not as hopeful as Wednesday. No one ever looks forward to it–or dreads it enough–to bother saying I can’t believe it’s already Tuesday. The only phrase that might compete is I can’t wait to go to work.

–Paul