One of the benefits of working at a university is the extended “holiday break.” Of course, the holiday break lines up with Christmas every single year, so I’m beginning to suspect that the university is actually on Christmas break but believes that by saying “holiday” instead of Christmas, they are being much more inclusive.

It makes no difference to me because I get 10 days of paid vacation!!

I’m going to fill my Christmas–I mean, holiday–break with as much Christmas cheer as I can considering that the Language and Grammar team has fallen behind on chores.

Here are the planned activities for the week:

• It’s the Most Windows 10 Upgrade Time of the Year
• Elf Comes Off the Shelf to Wash the Car (Note: We’ve had about one inch of snow and 10 inches of salt accumulation so far this winter)
• Santa Knows Whose Closet Is a Mess
• I’m Dreaming of a Clean Basement
• Jack Frost Is No Longer Nipping at My Doors/Windows (winterizing)
• O Holy Plant Light
• Fa La La Laundromat (cleaning blankets/comforters)
• Rudolph Cleans the Dirt-Filled Vacuum Filter
• Rudolph Returns to Empty the Recyclables
• Frosty Defrosts the Refrigerator
• Bring Me a New Figgy Filing System
• Dominick the Donation Donkey (books, shoes, etc.)
• Oh What Fun It Is to Ride on a Properly Greased Bike
• Santa Got Run Over by a Vacuum on the Second Floor
• The Elf that Called Lowes about Getting the Tub Replaced