Close But No Cigarette
Posted by languageandgrammar on April 30, 2009
We’ve all done it–either misstated something or slightly mangled a common statement or cliche, and the result was a humorous sentence that didn’t make sense. I call this “close but no cigarette.”
One of our blogger friends, Pamela Villars, recently posted a comment about such an example. She’d heard a news report stating that “The city will replant the trees that it has cut down.” I doubt that planting those now-dead trees is going to work; they’d be better off planting new trees.
I recently came across a Web site that highlighted many erroneous statements, most of which were written in non-English-speaking countries, which makes the mistakes more understandable–but not any less funny.
Here are a few examples (for the entire article, read Whoops! That’s not what I meant):
In an Acapulco hotel: The manager has personally passed all the water served here. (He must spend a lot of time in the bathroom.)
In a cemetery: Persons are prohibited from picking flowers from any but their own graves. (Remind me not to go to this place when the moon is full.)
In a Japan hotel: You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid. (Talk about customer service!)
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