By Paul Yeager, author of Literally, the Best Language Book Ever

I’m of the opinion that one problem with using too many exclamation points is that it doesn’t work–the intended excitement is turned into melodrama. I wasn’t aware of this other potential problem: thievery.

According to the Centre Daily Times, thieves stole letters from a volunteer fire department sign, including four exclamation points. (Spring Mills is an exciting place, apparently.)

No exclamation mark

It’s no laughing matter, of course. How will they be expected to properly show the excitement that is Friday night bingo if they have no exclamation marks left?

Tell me. How?!!!!