If I Could Put Time in A Bottle…

Posted on June 14, 2009 by languageandgrammar

Time capsules  have been part of the high school curriculum for generations, with good reason. Children of today can have the enjoyment of picking out a few symbols of their time to bury for future generations to discover, and those who are lucky enough to dig up a time capsule get to glimpse into a time long gone. Unless, it’s a time capsule from a little town in Pennsylvania…

1979 Revisited

Imagine the rapt attention of the students of the class of 2009 as they opened the time capsule from 1979 after hours of digging (the class of ’79 apparently was very serious about their time capsule–90 minutes of digging only unearthed a small portion of the capsule) to find items that represented the long-lost decade, including:

  • McDonald’s wrappers
  • Mountain Dew can
  • Sports Illustrated magazine
  • Popular Science magazine
  • The Old Farmer’s Almanac
  • A Kiss concert program
  • Medical reports
  • Calculator
  • VHS tape of a Penn State football game
  • Various other articles

My How Things Have Changed

Before I continue, it’s important to note that classic rock is still very popular in places like central Pennsylvania, so picture the scene:  A 17-year-old boy, wearing a Penn State football hoodie, is listening to Kiss on an mp3 player while drinking Mountain Dew (and having eaten at McDonald’s last night) with a Sports Illustrated (Swimsuit edition) in his backpack, wondering why he just spent the last 2 hours digging a giant hole in the ground.

I’ll bet that the only thing that surprised these high school students were the pictures of people in the ’70s because those people wore pants that actually covered their butts.

Who knew that so little has changed in the past 30 years?

Note:

The story can be read here (Current, former students unearth ’70s time capsule), but you may not be able to read the story since, I believe, this newspaper still subscribes to the antiquated philosophy that archives should be not be free, or at least should only be seen by registered guests. The link will remain live only for a week.

–Paul

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Thoughtful Sports Figure?

Posted on June 10, 2009 by languageandgrammar

We usually give examples of poor communication in the blog, but I recently heard a quote from an unusually candid and thoughtful sports figure. Since sports personalities usually answer in nothing but cliches, I thought the exception  was worth noting.

Honesty

When Pittsburgh Penguin (National Hockey League) coach Dan Bylsma was asked if his team had any doubts before a possible elimination game in the Stanley Cup Finals, he did not respond with the type of evasive and dismissive answer that we’ve grown to expect. He did not immediately say, “No. We always think we’ll win” or “No, our team always gives 110%” or even the tired, hubris-filled “If anyone on this team thinks we’re not going to win, he should just leave now” response.

Instead, he said (paraphrased since I wasn’t taking notes!), “I’m not the type of person who dismisses thoughts that come into my head. Of course, we have some doubt.” He then went on to explain that the team had a choice, either to focus on the doubt or prepare to win the game.

Positive Language

The quote was simple and, in my opinion, representative of a positive way to approach language and life–another example of words to live by. Many of us are so busy denying doubt or fear that we don’t ever get to the part about focusing on what we want.

When asked if we’re ready for a new challenge, we defensively say “I’m always confident” or “I know I won’t have any problem” or “I don’t worry about things like that” each time, always  suppressing and denying an honest emotion of doubt. The doubt will remain in your head until it’s addressed, at which time it will disappear, having done its job.

If you feel a doubt about an upcoming event (even a small amount of doubt), admit that it’s there. It’s a natural part of being  human. Then,  release the doubt and focus on what you want. You will then  approach the upcoming event with a complete focus on the task at hand instead of having your focus split between the task at hand and the doubt that has never been addressed.

By the way, Bylsma’s team, which had been one that lost as many games as it won prior to his taking over, has won 33 out of 43 games, including a regular season record of 18-3,  and is one win away from a championship.

–Paul

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Post-Consumer Material

Posted on June 7, 2009 by languageandgrammar

We’ve all read something that was so full of convoluted words and confusing sentence structures that we knew it had to be written by someone very smart; it was clearly over our heads.

What was REALLY happening is that we were victims of a writer using inflated language.

A reader should never be made to feel as though he is not intelligent enough to understand something; a writer should be able to write something in clear, easy-to-understand terminology. Writing is about communicating your thoughts, not about trying to prove how smart you are.

Some inflated language has started to spill into everyday life. I’ve already talked about how there are no used car salesmen left in the country (Pre-Owned Car Salesman), but there are myriad examples, which can be humorous when making something simple sound complicated.

Post-Consumer Material

I recently saw a paper bag from a fast-food restaurant that was made out of post-consumer material. Apparently, the word recycled is too simple and accurate for today’s French fry (can we say that now that Obama is president, or do we still call them Freedom fries?) connoisseurs.

This change wasn’t made for the consumer since I doubt that there is one person in this country who would not buy French fries because they were delivered in a recycled paper bag; it was done because someone, somewhere, decided that the more complicated phrase sounded more intelligent.

Remember, you will be taken more seriously as a writer and speaker if you speak directly and succinctly.

–Paul

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Passive Versus Patient

Posted on June 3, 2009 by languageandgrammar

As I mentioned in the first Words to Live By post, Desperation Versus Determination, positive language leads to a more positive life. I also believe that any negative word (and associated emotion, belief, or action) has a positive side that we can choose to focus on instead.

Passive Versus Patient

Waiting is something that we’ve all had to do; however, there’s an important difference between passively waiting and patiently waiting.

Being passive means being inactive, and being inactive means that you’ve given up control. Being patient means waiting with calmness, which can be inactive, but it doesn’t have to be. Control hasn’t been ceded; patience allows for productive activity while waiting.

To illustrate my point, think of a passive farmer and a patient farmer.

Being Passive

The passive farmer would plant his seed and then do nothing. If it rains enough and if the ground has enough nutrients, then he will have a successful crop, and his passivity will have paid off. If it doesn’t rain enough or the ground doesn’t have the right nutrients, then he will have a poor crop.

Either way, it’s not up to him.

Being Patient

The patient farmer would plant his seeds and then wait with calmness. He will, however, remain active.  He will monitor rainfall and the nutrients in the ground, and if needed, he will irrigate and fertilize.

There is, of course, a limit to how much a farmer can do to assist his crops, but the patient farmer’s chances of success are greater than those of the passive farmer. He has more control.

If you are passive, then you must deal what is dealt to you. If you’re patient, then you will have some control over the outcome.

–Paul

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You Said It…

Posted on June 1, 2009 by languageandgrammar

I’m sure that our regular readers have noticed that we’ve occasionally taken to making posts out of your pet peeves, so that’s what we’ll do again today.

We agree with most of them. We’ve written about some of them (links included). We appreciate all of them, so keep ’em coming.

Leave a comment on the Your Pet Peeves page, and it’ll be highlighted in a post, eventually. Here is today’s installment:

  • “Supposubly” instead of “supposedly”
  • “None” with a plural verb, such as the incorrect “None of us are going” instead of the correct “None of us is going.”
  • Saying “so don’t I” when it should be “so do I”
  • Using “jounaling” as a verb (Oh, I hate that, too!)
  • Mentee
  • “Whether or not” instead of “whether” (Whether or not)
  • Using words such as “crisis” or “problem” in news stories to put a slant on the report
  • Confusion between fewer/less (Fewer Things; Less Stuff)
  • Saying “ask” when “question” should be used (example: “It’s the big ask”)
  • “Waiting on” when it should be “waiting for” (Waiting for You; Waiting On Table 3)
  • “Free gift” (This was included in Literally, the Best Language Book Ever)
  • “First annual”
  • “Overarching” as a new buzzword
  • “Fun” as an adjective (Are We Having Fun Yet)
  • “Functionality” when function would work (Oh, Brother; Can’t We Just Use the @!&# Telephone is the same concept)
  • “No problem” instead of “You’re welcome” (which I also wrote about in Literally, the Best Language Book Ever)
  • “Think out the box” instead of “Think outside the box” (although I vote for banishment of the entire, now tired phrase)
  • “Flush it out” instead of “flesh it out” (Is anyone else thinking about the bathroom right now?)
  • Using useless terms such as “at this point in time” or “in terms of”
  • Trying to sound overly important. The example given by the commenter was too good to not include: “Take a letter to my board members, Ms Smith: Dear Board Members, In terms of levelling the playing field at this point in time, I’m pleased to report that there has been an exponential paradigm shift as we advance up the learning curve and capitalise on discontinuous change with an intense sense of urgency to sandbox our activity within acceptable constraints.”
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Why Just Unfaithful? Be FUNfaithful!

Posted on May 29, 2009 by languageandgrammar

Here’s one for all of the descriptivists out there. Since many of them who write to us insist that as long as people use an arrangement of letters, that means it’s a legitimate word, I thought it might actually be fun to jump on the descriptivist bandwagon and propose a new “word” of my own: Funfaithful.

I thought that this word could be used to mean either a man or a woman who’s in a committed relationship—usually a marriage—but is having an extra-relationship affair. Instead of just being plain old UNfaithful, which has no pizazz and sounds as if it could be rather boring, why not call it FUNfaithful since having an affair is FUN—-at least for the person having it.

It’s in the same vein as staycation; while it’s really just still a vacation, now we have to qualify the location of the vacation by explaining that we’re staying home. Funfaithful also gives us a little more in the way of explanation of our actions. It’s not JUST being unfaithful—-oh, no—–it’s FUN!

Sherry

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Language of Forecasting

Posted on May 27, 2009 by languageandgrammar

I’ve trained many young weather forecasters in my time, and I’ve always said that even the most accurate forecast is of no use if it’s not communicated well.

On my weather blog (cloudyandcool.com), I’ve taken a look how well the government’s summer 2009 long-range forecast (Long Range Forecast?) has been communicated–I wasn’t impressed.

–Paul

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It’s Memorial Day

Posted on May 24, 2009 by languageandgrammar

On the radio last night, I heard a talk-show host say I hope there’s lots of laughter at YOUR house this holiday weekend. Lots of laughter? Was she kidding? Does she know that it’s MEMORIAL DAY? It’s a solemn holiday, not a holiday to plan a pool party and rationalize drinking a couple of six-packs at the neighbor’s late on Sunday night because we don’t have to go to work on Monday morning.

The host’s wishes for a good time this holiday weekend were, I have to say, typical of the kinds of sentiments I’ve heard uttered on this particular holiday for years. Paul wrote about this same topic, but I felt compelled to also share my experiences with holiday well wishers.

Memorial Day: It’s a day to honor those Americans—men and women, brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, sons and daughters, friends and colleagues—who have died while fighting in the wars that the rest of us have been too afraid to fight, too old to fight, or too unable to fight. We send brave, patriotic, dedicated Americans, many of them just children, off to foreign countries while the rest of us continue to safely sip coffee at Starbuck’s and watch the evening news from the comfort of our Barcoloungers. And to honor these people, is this how we’re supposed to spend Memorial Day—deciding whether we want relish on our hot dogs and complaining that it’s too cold to go swimming?

I can’t wait for someone to ask me whether I had a barbecue or went to any parties this weekend so that I can reply with No, I stayed home and wept for all of the brave soldiers who gave their lives while doing the job that people like me would never do.

Sherry

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Language of Freedom

Posted on May 23, 2009 by languageandgrammar

This is the Memorial Day weekend, of course, and it is a solemn occasion (Enjoy the Funeral), not just the unofficial beginning of summer, the time when every gallon of paint in the country is on sale, and the first weekend of sunscreen and salt-water taffy.

The purpose of Memorial Day is to honor those who died in the service of this country. Many of us will generalize or politicize that statement, saying instead that Memorial Day is for honoring those who died fighting for (or protecting) our freedom. These are not synonymous statements.

Not all of the battles we’ve fought have been for the purpose of fighting for or protecting our freedom. It’s not that simple; we’ve sometimes fought for the freedom of others, and many of us believe that we have sometimes fought for the political purposes of a few.

Many Americans, most of whom had barely begun to live, died because of what we determined was worth fighting for; therefore, we need to be accurate about those reasons.

Surely, we respect those who died in our service enough to do that.

–Paul

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Mantuary

Posted on May 20, 2009 by languageandgrammar

The good news is that I might have been too harsh on one of the terms that I’ve made reference to in the past–man cave. Sure, it’s annoying, trendy, and sexist with a seventh-grade maturity level, but at least it’s made of two words that are otherwise useful.

The bad news is that there is a new term with all of the same charming characteristics of man cave, and it’s one of those special hybrid words–you know, like the wildly popular ginormous.

Move over man cave; mantuary is now on the map, as was indicated in a recent AOL headline: One Guy’s Mantuary Has Bar, Games, and Biggest TV We’ve Ever Seen.

I wonder why men ever get married–if we’re to believe that they’re only ever happy in caves where beer flows continuously, sports rolls on bigger-than-life televisions, and a sign on the door says “no women allowed.” In other words, a man is only happy when he’s in his sanctuary, a mantuary.

–Paul

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