If you have the flu, one of the best things you can do to prevent its spread is what many experts now recommend–participate in voluntary social distancing or self isolation. Sure, those options will help, or you could do what we’ve been told to do for years–stay at home when you’re sick.

They’re the same thing, of course, but today’s modern flu sufferer deserves a term more representative of the convoluted, over-inflated  language of 2009.

Stay at home when you’re sick is too straightforward, direct, and boring. Voluntary social distancing sounds like more fun, which is something that you’ll need given the quality of daytime television. You’re doing something modern and sophisticated.

Besides, tell me that having a self isolation day doesn’t have more appeal than a sick day.

And when you’re stuck at home, with a box of sanitary paper product needed for your productive cough and nasal discharge, you certainly need all the fun that inflated language can give you.

–Paul